Forgive me, I regret it
by myglimmer
Summary: Alfred is foolishly and helplessly in love with Arthur. Searching comfort, he turn to Ivan, and he does exactly the same thing Arthur did to him that broke his heart. Onesided USUK, RUSUS smutt, continuation of my other fic I'm Sorry, Enjoy! Brokenhearted


**Hi guys!**  
OOoooh myyy goooood! I seriously, seriously need to stop doing this! You know, disappear for like a month or so and the reappear with new fanfics when I actually should be working on the ones I already have (lalala, I pretend I'm a good girl, hm hm hmmmm...) Yeah, well, anyway!

This. Was not supposed to happen. Last I updated I submitted that oooold fanfic of mine, "I'm sorry" - right? So yeah, okay, here's the deal. Many of you who reviewed wished for me to continue it, etc etc, (you also said Arthur was a jerk, bla bla bla- _STOP PICKING ON HIM! D:_) and one reviewer actually wished for me to write a second chapter wherein Alfred got over his love for Arthur and fell in love with Ivan instead (She made this *hint hint, wink wink* thing, and I was caught!)  
At first, I had no intention on continuing it at all, like, _at all!_ But then, yesterday...? Or sometime during this week either way, I sat down and started writing this. I mean, like... omg, what am I doing?

Anyways, I had fun writing it and it turned out to be really long! (damn angsty oneshots! _I love you!_) And it would really be a waste in not posting it here, don't you think?

**So okay!** I will give you the story now, but I must *hint hint* and *wink wink* you, that no, Alfred won't fall out of love. He's foolishly and helplessly in love ;) (and yes, that phrase will repeat itself in this story, lol!) So yeah, this is USUK, Onesided love from Alfreds view, but gasp and behold my friends, it also contains RUSXUS! OMG! I KNOW! WHY? WHYYYYYYY? I realyy don't support that pairing... uhm, sorry? But it's still there! So all of you USUK and RUSUS fans out there, please:

_**ENJOY~!**_

* * *

_Forgive me (I regret it)_

* * *

"…_Alfred, I-... I'm sorry… I don't love you…"_

Alfred, or America as he was known, stared out into space where he sat attending a world conference, turning out the voices that discussed the current problems around the world at the moment around him. Economy, earthquakes, tsunamis, the North Africans revolution, disaster in Japan… The voices argued on and on, back and forth across the table, but America was only veaguely aware of this as he completely tuned the discussions out. He sat in his chair, shoulders slumped and eyes stuck on a spot on the wall on the other side of the room, a far away look dulling his dashing blue orbs, his hands simply resting in his knee.

"_I don't love you…_"

His chest was swimming with emotions over his and Arthurs' encounter the other day. Arthurs' words kept repeating inside his head and each time, the pain was just as bad. It was a stab to his heavy heart each time he imagined the incident and it felt as if someone had tied a knot with his troath. A small part of him wanted to cry, but it had been four days and he was out of tears. So instead, he just felt empty. Extremely hollow and empty and just… numb. His mind was dull and slow and he found he just didn't care about things anymore. He felt uneccessary. Why was he there? Why was he anywhere at all? Why did he excist? What was the meaning of his life? What was the meaning of his life now that Arthur wasn't sharing it with him? Questions like these drifted through his numbed head, but all they did was making his head hurt and remind his aching heart of just how much he still loved Arthur, thus making his heart ache even more and cause his eyes to sting.

"_I don't love you… I'm sorry."_

"_Don't leave me-! I need you."_

He felt thorn. Thorn into two different sized pieces inside his soul, wherein the largest piece pained him the most. He was still in love with Arthur. He loved him so much, more than anything. Enough to keep loving him even though the affection painfully wasn't returned and left him broken hearted. But it didn't matter, because he still had Arthur. His heart ached after the Englishman and every cell in Alfreds' body wanted to pull him to his feet and make him run up to Arthur and hold him in his arms, to kiss him and never let him go again. He desperatedly wanted to stay with Arthur, even though he didn't love him back, and a part of him was scared that he would loose him. Loose his love for the other and stumble alone into darkness whichin he would fumble after a new source of light that would never appear. He was scared Arthur would decide to leave him and he desperately clung to the part of him that adored the Brittish nation still. Another part of him knew he was being naïve and stupid, foolish and blinded by his love, and that he shouldn't be doing what he did. He shouldn't be clinging to what he and Arthur had left, but instead he should just let go and forget about his attatchment, because that would be better for him. It would be better and he would not have to go through so much pain. But he _did_ cling to the remains of his and Arthurs' relationship, and he _couldn't_ let go of the attatchment he had grown so dependent on.

Perhaps it would be better for him to let go, but he was scared to do that, to let go of the strong and powerfull feelings that had control of his heart, and a part of him didn't _want_ to let go, because he _wanted t_o be dependent on Arthur. He wanted to love him, needed to be with him, or else his heart would shatter under the pressure of his depression. A small side of him still screamed he was being the biggest fool on earth, but the large part of him that held love and searched for aknowledgement and affection, wanted attention and needed confirmation had a stronger will and the pull on his heart was greater than Alfreds' whole being, forcing him to only listen to that side of him. Yes, Alfred was thorn on the inside, but he was so helplessly in love that he hardly noticed his inner chaos and only focused on his swelling heart.

Foolishly and helplessly in love.

"_I don't love you…_"

His days had been turned into blurrs that quickly drifted by his unwatching eyes without him paying much attention to them. His mind had become numb and his constant chattering had been traded for silence. Nations hardly noticed his hardships, but they had their own problems, so of course they didn't have time for his, so they barely payed the quiet nation any attention and instead left him to his isolation from the rest of the world on his own.

Blinking dull eyes, Alfred just sat and stared as the meeting went on and developed without his say in things and then ended without his full awareness. The nations all around him stood and started packing their things and prepare for departure, but Alfred remained seated, still staring into the wall opposite of his seat in the room. His body felt heavy, almost paralyzed, and his energy was drained from him. He couldn't force himself to move and get up from his chair and go to his car and drive home. He saw no point. Go home and do what? Eat? He wasn't hungry. Watch TV? He couldn't bring himself to because he just felt tired of everything. Take a bath? He had no energy to do that either. Sleep? What, only so he could wake up the day after and go through another dull day just like every other? Alfred just saw no point in anything anymore. Now that Arthur wasn't the point of everything he did and lived for he was left with an open, blank space he couldn't place anything into. He couldn't focus on anything besides Arthur, and now that he couldn't even do that… he just had no point in doing anything. He just felt so… empty.

He payed no attention to the fact that every nation had left and that he now was alone in the large, white, shallow meeting room. Light shone in through the large windows and made the white walls shine brighter in their newly painted colour. Silence was all around him and Alfred could hear the birds sing in the spring and the wind outside the glass squares. He swallowed, heart sinking, and bit back tears as it dawned on him that he was alone. Utterly and completely alone, abandoned, forgotten. Arthur wasn't there beside him anymore, and he was completely alone in the evacuated meetingroom. Or, well, so he thought.

He was unaware of the presence that had stayed in the room with him as everyone else left, and the person watched him with mild curiousity and amusement as he remained unmoving from his spot. Feet started making their way towards him and soon the person was standing beside his chair and looking down at him.

"Привет Америка." America jumped in his chair at the unexpected voice, having been too caught up in his own thoughts and feelings to even notice he wasn't alone in the room. Quickly and in reflex wiping the water from his eyes he snapped his head to the side and looked up at the larger nation with a shocked face, trying to hide the fact he had been about to cry and break down emotionally.

"Eh-ah-eh- R-Russia?" He stumbled over his words as he tried to compose himself and get his act together. He forced a false smile, feeling no glee at all but pushing himself into acting like normal. "I- What…" He coughed into his hand, trying to rid his voice from the hoarseness that had taken hold of it because of his outdrawn lack of speech until now. "I mean, what do you want?" He asked in a not rude way, his normal powerfull energy missing from his words. The Russian man smiled that childlike smile of his as he looked down on his Ally.

"Nothing much, comrade. I just wanted to hear how your country is doing, Да?" He asked innocently enough. Alfred blanched as he stared openly at the other man.

"E-ah? Oh, uhm, it's doing okay I guess…" He avoided looking into Ivans' lilac eyes and shifted slightly in his seat. The lie squeezed painfully around his troath with invisible hands as he was reminded of how _not _okay he was and he swallowed as another wave of utter nothingness washed over him. He really felt nothing, just plain empty and in pain.

"_I'm sorry… I don't love you._"

Shaking himself out of his pained and faraway place he turned to shoot the Russain a wary look. "Why do you ask?" He wondered suspiciously, his body tensing as his hostileness towards the cold country from the cold war resurfaced from deep within, making him alert and wary of what the Russain might do. Ivans' smile widened at his defencive display and he laughed heartedly.

"I was just wondering, comrade!" He said honestly and Alfred slowly relaxed again and tried to keep his mood from falling, but it was hard. "There was a lack of annoying comments and useless remarks during the meeting, I only had to notice you seem a little off today, Вот и всe." The insults passed over Alfreds' head as he simply stared at the Russian with a blank look. He let the exhaustion he felt before Ivan had started talking to him take over his body again and he blinked slowly, feeling how the ache in his heart gradually made itself noticeable again. It was that visible, huh? He wondered if Arthur had noticed his lack of energy also, but with a sinking heart Alfred somehow knew the older nation payed no mind to him at all during these times. And it hurt, badly, to know that.

He averted his dull eyes to the floor and let his head hang as his previous mood returned to him. Ivan watched the American with an unreadable look. Silence overtook the room and danced between them, bouncing on the walls and wrapping them inside its' wordless embrace. Time ticked as the two nation remained on their spots, neither saying anything, Alfred struggling with his inner emotions and Ivan respecting his inner turmoil and giving him time and space to recollect himself.

Alfreds' heart thumped inside his chest and his troath felt tight when he swallowed. A stone, that grew heavier each day that passed without his Arthur by his side, had hold of his stomach and he almost felt nauseous. He longed for Arthur, his smile, his eyes, his hair, his voice, his embrace, his laugh, his warmth, his body pressed against Alfreds'… Arthur was his everything and he just wanted to hold him tight in his arms, to feel the others' heart beating against his, and he never wanted to let go.

But he had lost him, Arthur didn't love him, and Alfred barely choked on the tears that started to ensamble in his eyes as he was reminded of that simple, yet painfull fact. But he loved Arthur, more than anything, and he would always love Arthur. He had cheated on him and he had betrayed him. He had whisked away Alfreds' heart and then he had dropped it so that it had shattered over the floor of reality, bringing Alfred down from his hight among the clouds of happiness and naïvetivity and throwing him into the biting cold of pain and betrayal. Arthur had cheated on him, and it stung Alfred something horrible. Every beat without Arthur broke his heart a little more and the thought of someone else being with Arthur made Alfreds' skin boil. But he still wanted to be with Arthur, wanted Arthur, _needed_ Arthur. Because he was foolishly and helplessly in love.

Sucking his tears in, Alfred laughed bitterly to the silence and to Ivan who had remained quiet by his side in the empty room.

"Fuck…" He cursed with a distastefull smile. Letting out a groan he leaned back in his chair and put his hands over his face as he tilted his neck backwards. "Nuuuuh… Man, I need to keep it together…" He reminded himself in a low mumble, not meaning for Ivan to hear him talking to himself but not caring if he did either. He needed to snap out of it, to get over it. But he would never be able to, and the fact that he knew that made his day seem even more hopeless. The hand on his shoulder startled him and he jumped in his seat when the large warmth pressed against his shoulder. Looking up to Ivan he saw that his friend looked seriously at him with what could be _considered_ as a concerned look, but with Ivan… well, you could never be sure.

"Al'fred…" Ivan said with his thick Russian accent. Alfred didn't neew to hear more to understand that he would have to crack the nut to the Northern country. Sighing mournfully and burrying his head in his hands, Alfred tried to sort his emotions and gain some control of his body. Meanwhile, Ivan took place in the chair beside his but moved it so that it faced Alfreds'. The silence had almost made a grand return to them when Alfred spoke,

"I just…" He couldn't find the words and drew for a patient breath to calm his racing emotions. "I can't…" His voice cracked and he bit his lip, angrily trying to force himself into not letting it get to him. He gave up and helplessly glanced at the Russian. Ivan simply looked at him, but he seemed to catch on to what it was all about quicker than you would imagine.

"This is about Англия, Да?" He asked and Alfred couldn't bring himself to do more than weakly nod his head to confirm that it was indeed about Arthur. Ivan sighed and mumbled something in Russian before he focused his attention on Alfred once again. "What did he do?" America rocked back and forth slightly with his heels, chewing on his lip and clenching his hands together in front of his face, making it look as if he was praying.

"He didn't-…" He started but cut himself off. He took a shaky breath and tried again. "He didn't do… It's-… I just… Oh, God, I can't talk about this…" He mumbled more to himself than to Ivan, then he gently hit himself in the forehead with his entwined hands and determination overtook him as he forced himself to snap out of his sentimental state and glance at Ivans' form. "We… I… I _love_ him." He choked on the words, finding they were harder to say than he had thought and burning tears sprang to his eyes. He blinked them away as he tried to keep from shaking. Ivan looked on with an empty look, not commenting or criticizing Alfreds' feelings.

"I… We… I thought-… I thought he loved me too…" The words died on his tounge and came out strange and strained. "But I… I was wrong, and he… He just…" He put a hand over his mouth and kept it there to prevent from sobbing as he shook his head with teary eyes. It was hard for him to say all of this and he bet he didn't even make sence to the Russian that sat beside him. His heart thumped harshly, pulsing the pain through his body along with the blood and something was strangling his troath, making his voice crack at times and sound hoarse. The tears threatened to spill over and he struggled to not break down and just cry his heart out as he had every night so far. And he who had thought he had had no more tears to share. Ivan shifted in his seat, and as Alfred remained silent after that he took to word himself.

"Let me guess. He cheated on you?" Alfred made a strange, undignifying, strangled noise and Ivan took this as a confirmination of that he had hit bullseye with the American. Alfred also started shaking and the tears became harder and harder to bit back.

"And it hurt you…" Ivan continued, his lilac eyes focused on the shaking personification of the United States that was on the verge of start crying. Alfred wiped the tears that still hadn't started to fall from his eyes before they actually had a chance of journeying down his cheeks.

"He… He broke my heart, alright?" The American chuckled patheticaly at himself. "And he told me… He didn't love me…"

"_I don't love you…_"

Alfreds' heart was clenched in an invicible hand and he choked on his sentence, clutching the seat in his hands and feeling his eyes swim over again. "S-straight to my face, a-and I just-…" He hicked and tried to wipe his tears that had finally started to flow down his cheeks, failing miserably at saving some of his pride. Everything was slipping. Alfred could feel it. It was draining away from his hand like sand, first Arthur and now his cohesion… His heart was crumbling and it was taking him with it into the darkness. He gave up. Alfred had given up. There was nothing he could do, other than cry, because he loved Arthur. _Still_ loved Arthur, and that would never change.

"I-… I love h-im-…!" He sobbed loudly, the tears now streaming down his cheeks as he had given up wiping them away, and he bawled his heart out. "I fucking l-ove him…! E-even though he doesn't return m-my feelings I-…! I still-…!" He felt Ivan cup his chin in his hand and then his head was turned to the side and two soft lips surpressed his pitiful wails and sobs by pressing against his.

The kiss wasn't gentle, but it wasn't harsh or forcefull either, if anything it was strong and expressive. It was sweet and soft and the lips felt so utterly warm over Alfreds' own and it calmed him for some reason. Considering he had already let everything go, he didn't actually care that Ivan was kissing him. He barely considered it. All his emotions of worry, betrayal, sadness, anger, pain, love, all washed away from him all at once and all he was able to feel was the carving need for affection that he wanted from Arthur but never had received. He wanted recognition and care and he wanted to be held close, to be loved, touched and needed. His body was screaming after someone, after someone who would hold him and show him the affection he had wanted so badly from Arthur. He had been denied for his feelings and now he was desperately clinging for closeness with someone, anyone that would willingly give him just _that_ support his cracking soul lacked at the moment. He was desperate and Ivan was there.

Without hesitation, Alfred wrapped his arms around the taller males' neck and pulled him closer, kissing back with the desperate need of someone who wanted to be close as he clung to the others' body, afraid to be abandoned if he let go. He pressed his body tight against Ivans' and they deepened the kiss, mouths opening and tounges rubbing against and tasting every single bit of each other. Ivan grabbed Alfred by the colar and dragged him onto his lap where they could press closer and kiss without having to lean in awkward angles.

Pulling at Ivans' hair and roaming his hands through the soft, silver blonde locks Alfred pressed himself against the other, searching warmth and comfort in his kisses and touches, no longer caring for his mental breakdown just seconds ago. He was completely lost in the heat of the moment, his mind unfunctioning and his body desperate, but he couldn't care less about what he was doing. Ivan was there. Ivan was holding him and touching him. Ivan was _there_.

"Ivan… _Ivan…!_" He mumbled into the kisses, his voice needy in search for any kind of acceptence from the other male. Ivan had his arms wrapped around Alfred and he pressed their bodies closer together with his strong hands as he made sure to throughly explore Alfreds' mouth with his tounge. Alfred moaned when one of Ivans' hands reached down and groped his ass, temporarily breaking away from the kiss and panting heavily. With half lidded, clouded eyes Alfred let Ivan help him out of his trademark jacket, and the leather brown piece of fabric was thrown to the side as fast as he had disposed of it. Straddling Ivan, Alfred pulled his T-shirt over his head to expose his lean stomach and tanned abbs, dumping the shirt to the side, crooking his glasses in the proccess. Ivan gently plucked them off his face and placed them to the side at the table and then they lashed onto each other again, kissing hastily and pressing their bodies against one another in a desperate search for contact.

Rubbing his tounge against Ivan, Alfred worked on undoing Ivans' coat, unbuttoning it quickly and pushing it down his shoulders. Ivan shook the jacket off without breaking their kiss, but eventually having to pull away to rip his military tanktop off his body. Getting rid of the shirt, he threw it to the side and then they pressed their now naked and slick chests together. Alfred moaned delighted at the skin on skin contact, pressing himself as close as possible to the muscular and strong built body beneath him. Ivans' hands roamed over Alfreds' exposed chest and back, growling aprriciatingly into the kiss as he groped Alfred underneath his pants with both hands, nipping on the Americans lip with his teeth. Alfreds' breath hitched and he moaned as he clutched Ivans' hair in what must have been a painfull grip. Ivan broke their kiss and they were breathing heavily now, cheeks red and hearts beating quickly inside their chests.

"Америка..." Ivan growled warningly, tugging on the others' belt with patience as he kissed the flushed American again. "Pants…" He mumbled between kisses, his voice demanding and reminding Alfred of some sort of beast. "_Теперь...!_" Even though Alfred didn't understand one word of Russian, he knew that Ivan was getting impatient and wanted him to remove his pants quickly. Half hard and out of breath Alfred complied and got off the Russian to undo his belt and slip out of his pants and boxers, resuming his previous position in Ivans' lap afterwards. Undoing his pants, Ivan pulled them down and they both hissed in pleasure when their wet and heated erections rubbed against each other. Jerking his member against Ivans' Alfred moaned in appriciation, his skin flushed and his mind clouded by pleasure and desperation for contact. Ivan growled and pulled the American by his blonde hair into a heated kiss, pressing them closer together and both of them sharing a moan as Alfred was still moving their hips together, creating friction between their hard members.

With a firm grip, Ivan grabbed both their erections in one hand and squeezed, earning a hitch in the breath and a breathy moan from Alfred who eagerly started to jerk into the hand. Groaning, Ivan pressed his other hands fingers against Alfreds' parted lips, glancing up at him through halflidded and frustrated eyes.

"Suck." He demanded and Alfred did as he was told with a desperate moan, taking the fingers into his mouth and running his tounge over them in attempt to make them as wet and slick as possible. Meanwhile, Ivan bit his teeth together and started pumping their members in his hand, Alfred moaning and thrusting into the motion as he kept drenching Ivans' fingers in saliva. Ivan moaned deeply, head downcast and eyes clouded with lust.

Finding his fingers wet enough, he retreated them from Alfreds' mouth and let go of their now rock hard cocks, earning a whimper from Alfred at the loss of friction. Leaning up he pulled Alfred into a heated kiss, both nipping and sucking on each others' lips. Alfred groaned and rolled their hips together, causing them both to moan into the kiss. Pulling away, Ivan placed a hand on Alfreds' back, leaning him forewards so that his ass swayed in the air. Bringing his slick fingers to Alfreds' entrence he didn't miss the whimper that escaped the younger male as he knew what was coming next.

Pressing one slick finger into Alfreds' entrence, Ivan heard Alfred groan beside his ear and shift slightly to get more comfortable with the intruding object. Pressing his finger completely inside, Ivan almost let out a groan of how tight the American was around his digit. Meanwhile, Alfred was trying to control his breathing and get over how uncomfortable he felt with the intrusion inside his ass. Moving around, he tried to wriggle himself into a more comfortable position. He twitched when Ivan moved his finger, stilling his struggle in the others' hands. Moving the finger out slightly and then pushing in again, Ivan tried to get Alfred used to the action, noticing how the Americans breath shuddered each time he pressed in and how Alfreds' grip on his shoulders tightened slightly.

Figuring it was time for the second finger, Ivan brought it to Alfreds' entrence and started pushing inside. Alfred stiffened and bit down on his lip, finding the stretch highly unpleasant. Finding it hard to penetrate and stretch Alfred when he was so stiff, Ivan wrapped his other hand around the younger males' cock and squeezed lightly. Alfred let out a gasp that turned into a moan as Ivan started to pump him, instantly relaxing his muscles, letting Ivan push the second digit all the way inside his pulsing, tight heat. Starting to twist his fingers and scissor them, Ivan concentrated on fucking the digits into Alfreds' tight hole and pump him at the same time.

"Nnh-…!" Alfred bit his lip and clamped a hand over his mouth as he tried to hold back his moans. The feeling of the wriggling fingers inside of him was strange, but the sensation brought a new sort of excitement and pleasure traveling through him and soon he started pushing back towards the digits that burried themselves inside him. Letting out moans, Alfred rode Ivans' fingers with eager thrusts, his erection twitching and dripping for attention. Ivans' own cock twitched at the mewling sounds Alfred made and he had to hold himself back from just pulling his two fingers out and push into the tight heat without caring if Alfred was stretched or thorn apart. But that would be highly inconvinient, so instead he groaned and pressed the third digit inside the tight hole.

Alfred whined in pain as the third finger stretched him together with the other two. Kissing his neck, Ivan stretched him further to prepare him for the real thing later. Alfred groaned in pain and Ivan moved the fingers around inside the wet heat, searching for that certain spot inside Alfred that would make him scream out in pleasure.

"Ah-! Ivan!" Alfred gasped, his back arching and his eyes wide in surprise and clouded with amased pleasure. Ivan smirked up at his thrown back head and moved his fingers out before pushing them inside and brushing the bundle of nerves again. Alfred groaned and clenched his eyes shut, biting his lip. Soon he started moving himself up and down on Ivans' fingers and each time they would brush against his prostate, making him moan and his erection ache with need for touch. Ivan grabbed his own erection, pumping his hand up and down as he watched Alfred fuck himself on his fingers, imagining that it was his cock that burried itself into the tight and pulsing hole instead of his fingers. He moaned and pumped his hand faster, leaning his head back as pleasure washed through his body. Alfred hoisted himself up and then sank down onto the fingers again, moaning with each thrust they made into him as they filled him on the inside.

Growing impatient, Ivan growled and removed his fingers from Alfreds' tight hole, the American whimpering above him. Grabbing the Americans' hips, Ivan directed him so that his entrence was resting right above his erection, the head pressing against Alfreds' ass. Panting and with rosy cheeks Alfred pulled at Ivans' hair and dragged him into a kiss, their lips clashing and their tounges rubbing against each other. Ivan then used both his hands on Alfreds' hips to press him down onto his erection, the head slowly stretching and entering the tight hole of heat. Flinching, Alfred pressed himself closer to Ivans' body, feeling, touching, desperate for contact in his horny state.

Kissing Alfred Ivan kept pushing into the tight heat, a silent moan passing his lips as his cock slowly but surely burried its' way into the warm cavern. He moaned when Alfred stiffened around him and started pumping the others' erection to loosen him up a little. Moaning into the kiss, Alfred relaxed and let Ivan push fully inside and fill him to the top. They moaned in unison as soon as Ivans' throbbing erection was completely burried in Alfreds' anus and Alfred swallowed and took a second to actually _feel_ the throbbing length inside of him. Ivan huffed and waited for Alfred to adjust to the intrusion in his lower region before he slowly started lifting him by the hips and slip his member out of his hole with frustrating carefulness. Alfred placed his hands on Ivans' shoulders and bit his lip as he hoisted himself up so that only Ivans' tip was still inside him. Then he lowered himself down on the throbbing cock again and he choked on a moan as it filled him to the bridge. Ivan groaned at the feeling of Alfreds' tight heat lowering itself onto his erection and he leaned his head back and clenched his eyes shut as he bit his lips.

Repeating this, Alfred brought himself up and lowered himself once more with a little more force this time. He grunted and started for a slow rhythm, going up before sinking down on the throbbing cock again, repeating the move over and over, each time growing a little more forcefull with his thrusts. Soon they had found a rather nice pace and the both panted for air as Alfred lifted himself up before slamming down onto the cock again, riding Ivan with fast thrusts. Skin slapping against skin echoed through the meeting room and both parts moaned as the friction between them grew and the heat incrased. Bodies shining with sweat in the sunlight that seeped into the room through the windows they rocked against each other, the heat building up and their moans growing louder.

Shifting his aim a little, Ivan tried to hit the spot that would make Alfred come eventually, and after a few more thrusts from Alfred, the Americans' eyes that he had closed from pleasure shot open and he gasped.

"Oh, God-!" He squeeked, lifting himself up and slamming down in the exact same angle again, a loud moan escaping him this time around. He picked up pace and soon he was ramming down onto the Russians cock, his moans ringing through the room together with the grunts of pleasure from the Russian. Slamming down on the cock that filled him completely and hit the spot that made Alfreds' body twitch voilently in pleasure, Alfred moaned loudy as he fucked himself on the Russian.

"Oh my God, oh-…! Ah-! Ivan…!" The mewls of pleasure flowed out from his mouth like water in a river. The others' hands roamed over his body, touched him, felt him, and Alfreds' head was thrown back in pleasure. "Nnah-…! Fuck…! Oh, God…" His skin was burning, he was high on euphoria, and he couldn't breath. Ivans' hands danced all over him, tingling his skin and touching everywhere, exploring every part of him. Pleasure rocked his body and he had to struggle to bit back moans that threatened to escape him. Heat was wrapped around him and he was in a blissfull state with no troubles and no concerns. There was just Ivan and even more Ivan. Inside him, around him, across his skin, under his touch… All he could feel, smell and hear was Ivan, touching him, feeling him, fucking him. The Russian was everywhere and everything to Alfred at the moment. Their bodies pressed close together, moving in unison against each other. Their breaths and moans were mingled and Alfred could barely make out whoms screams where whoms. All of Ivans' attention was on him, and it felt good. Alfred felt _good_. He hadn't felt this good in a long time because of Arthurs' harsh breakup. His feeling had been crushed and he had searched for recognition and comfort, and then there was Ivan. _Ivan._

"Ah-…! Ivan-!" Alfred moaned as he rode the older male, his body moving on its' own in search for the ultimate pleasure. Ivan groaned Alfreds' name in Russian and then he wrapped a hand around Alfreds' leaking erection. "Nn-Ah-!" Alfred gasped and thrust into the hand as he kept slamming down onto the rock hard cock. Ivan started pumping his shaft in tact with his thrusting and strings of moans and curses escaped Alfreds' mouth like pouring water. He picked up his pace, forcefully slamming himself down onto Ivans' erection, its' tip rubbing against his prostate with breath taking friction that sent masses of pleasure through Alfreds' body. He quickly fucked himself on Ivans' member, each thrust groving more frantic as he came closer to his release. Ivan was feeling the tugs of orgasm as well, groans of pleasure being pulled from his lips as he jerked into the tight heat and pumped Alfreds' shaft in his hand.

"Ahn-! Oh, Ah-…! Mmmh…! Ivan-!" Alfred moaned loudly with each thrust he made down onto the cock, his eyes clenched shut in pleasure and his head trashed backwards. Heat started to build up inside his abandomen and he gasped for air as Ivan pumped his dick. "Ivan-! I-… Ah-! Oh, God, Ivan! Ah-! Oh, _fuuuuuck…!_" He moaned and bit his lip, the heat bundling into a tight ball.

"Oh, _Америка...!_" Russia groaned as his cock prepeared to release into the tight, wet, throbbing heat that was Alfreds' ass as the American kept slamming down onto him, burrying him deep and nice inside the tight hole. Alfred slammed forcefully down onto the cock, Ivans' hand pumping him closer and closer to his release.

"Oh- Ivan…! Ivan! I'm gonna- I'm gonna-…!" The heat wrapped tightly together and then lashed out, bringing his release as cum shot out from his cock into Ivans' hand and over their chests. "Ivan!" Alfred screamed as he came, white stars blinding his sight when he reached his orgasm, his body shuddering voilently as he spent himself over their chests. Upon Alfreds' release, his hole clenched around Ivans' cock and the Russian nation moaned loudly and came inside the tight, slick heat, his cum seeping out through Alfreds' entrence and down his cock.

Pants filled the thick, sweaty air, their warm bodies slickly pressing against each other as they lay in the blissfull silence that came after reaching orgasm. Alfred had colapsed over Ivan and his body limply rested in the others arms, his head burried in Ivans' neck. Eventually, they were brought back from the afterbliss after the sex and slowly but surely their hard breathing started to even out and their hearts started beating normally again. Groaning, Ivan pulled out of Alfred, the latter wincing when the cock slipped out of his semen filled entrence, then he zipped up his pants and pushed the other off.

Spent, Alfred stumbled onto his feet and almost instantly fell to the floor, his body sore and exhausted. He leaned against the table leg and closed his eyes, his breath slowing down and returning completely to normal after a while. He could hear Ivan fumble with his coat and tiredly he lifted his heavy eyelids to peak at the other nation that had now fully dressed and stood from the chair. A hand ruffled his hair and he closed his eyes but was too tired to slap the hand away.

"You'll see, Америка... Things are going to solve themselves, Да?" And then, Ivan went up and left.

Blinking slowly and fighting the temptating urge to fall asleep, Alfred slowly started to realise what had just happened. He and Ivan…

His mind went blank and his heart started to beat faster inside his chest, the exhaustion completely gone from his person. Panick slowly started to creep into his chest and he stared straight ahead with wide eyes. He and Ivan had…!

He brought a hand to his mouth where he pressed it tightly over his lips, a strong feeling of guilt and discust hitting him like a train in motion. He couldn't believe it…! He and Ivan had…! Making a choking noise, Alfred threw himself on all four, still keeping his mouth from throwing up by clutching his hand over his lips. His heart raced away inside his chest and his brows were furrowed in something between horrification and disbelief. He couldn't believe it. He had let _Ivan_, of all people, take use of him in his mentally weak state and use his body for selfish satesfaction, because that's what had happened.

He had been lost, heartbroken and confused, the strong emotions inside his body numbing his better judgement and giving him a hard time to control his feelings and actions. He had felt betrayed and hurt and had wanted comfort and some kind of affection. He had felt completely alone and empty, his heart had screamed out for some sort of recognition from someone, anyone... and then there had been Ivan, kissing him, touching him and _holding_ him. He had acted rashly and thrown away all of his concerns because he had been desperate and alone.

His heart thumped painfully inside his chest as he realised just how stupid he had been, what a mistake he had made. How could he have done that? He was such a fool. He and Ivan had… had…! They had had sex.

Alfred choked undignifying on what he guessed was his heart and he could feel tears sting in the corners of his eyes. He felt used. His body was trembling and his heart was beating forcefully inside his aching chest as his eyes panicked scanned the walls in the room. He felt used and exposed, naked alone in a white room after sexing it up with Ivan. Ivan had used him, and the feelings of betrayal Alfred had thrown away in the beginning of his greatest mistake came back tenfold. He had trusted Ivan with his heart, trusting him by telling him what had happened between himself and Arthur, and Ivan had… had… used him. Betrayed him, let him down and on top of it all he had left him all alone, naked and exposed in the cold meeting room. Holding back tears, Alfred bit his lip and cursed his foolishness. How could he have been so stupid to give himself out like that? Once again he felt hurt and betrayed and the familiar lump in his troath was back.

Quietly and slowly, Alfred dressed back into his clothes that lay discarded over the room, all the while trying to hold the burning tears back. He had been used. He felt discusted with himself but most of all he was ashamed. He was shamefull, dirty, because he had let someone use him and he felt as if his whole body had been exposed to something dirty and it made him sick. He felt as if he would throw up any minute, what with the way he was discusted beyond beliefe and the way his heart was beating painfully inside his chest as he replayed what he had done with Ivan in his head. How could he have done that? How could he?

Sinking down against a wall, Alfred burried his face in his hands and gritted his teeth. He didn't feel well. He felt vulnerable, exposed, used, ashamed and sick. Emotions swirweled around inside his chets and he didn't know what to do. He wanted to disappear. His being had been dirtied and he was so, so disapointed in himself. How cold he, how could he, how could he?

He had been desperate to be close to someone and Ivan had just taken adventage of that, of his crushed feelings. He had felt so hurt and betrayed by Arthur that he had thrown away his better judgement and become blinded by the need of confirmation by someone. He had been so upset with Arthur he had needed affection from some sort of source, and that had just happened to be Ivan. His heart had been so open and visible for anyone to see because of his love for Arthur that wasn't even returned.

Alfred choked on a sob and burried his head deeper into his arms, pulling his knees up to his chest. He felt so alone. So abandoned, all alone in the whole world. He missed Arthur. He felt a tug at his heart and he sobbed louder. He longed for Arthurs' gentle embraces, for his comforting words and caring touch. He wanted to hear his voice and he wanted to be with him. Arthur didn't love him, and even if that tore Alfreds' heart apart, he still wanted to be with him. Even now, when he felt exposed and used, he wanted to be with his Arthur.

Suddenly horrification hit Alfred like a stone and froze him where he sat, his sobbing stopping just like that. Arthur… He had cheated on Arthur.

Eyes widening and heart speeding up until his breath became unstable, Alfred panicked. He had had sex with Ivan and had cheated on Arthur. A humongus wave of guilt hit him and pulled him down into the depths where he swam to keep from breaking down completely. He had cheated on his Arthur. He had betrayed him! Alfred couldn't forgive himself. He was disgusted and horrified by his own actions and just picturing Arthur in his head made him hulk and choke on a sob as he bent forewards, blue eyes wide and pained. His heart twisted and turned with bad guilt inside his chest and he could feel his soul be brought down a whole staircase because of remorse. His hands were shaking and he felt so disgusted with himself. It was a wonder he hadn't thrown up yet.

As if on cue, Alfreds' stomach turned and in a second he was up and over by the trashcan, bending over and emptying his lunch into it. Stumbling away from the trashcan once he was done, Alfred could no longer stop the tears that flowed down his face. He leaned against a wall for support, running a hand through his wild blonde hair, eyes wide and stressed and heart pained and filled with remorse. If anyone had seen him, they would've thought he looked a little crazed like that, breathing heavy, wide eyed and a panicked look in his eyes.

His troath burned and his chest felt as if it was about to explode. Alfreds' eyes darted around the room. He couldn't get enough air, he felt lightheaded and his heart was breaking all over again because of his own actions.

He had to see Arthur. He missed him. He had to go see him.

With only an image of Arthur in his head, Alfred dashed out of the meeting room to track down the owner of his heart.

* * *

"Your such a bloody _arse,_ Francis! You hear that, frog?_ Arse!_" Arthur shouted, storming out of Francis hotel room door with his face red of anger and set in a permanent scowl. A certain Frenchmans laugh echoed out from the room after him as he stormed out into the corridor.

"_O'hon' hon' hon' hon'! Mon cherie, _Arthur, it was just for fun! You _Anglais_ can't take a single jo-" Not wanting to listen to Francis insulting him more, Arthur growled and slammed the door shut, cutting through in the middle of Francis sentence and saving himself from hearing any more of that bloody tards language. He could hear Francis laughter through the door and snarled at it before he turned on his heal and stormed away from the place.

A cup of tea from the hotels' café later Arthur was making his way down another corridor of the hotel, still in a slightly sour mood and planning to head to bed as soon as he reached his room. Sighing irritably at the image of three certain people laughing their heads off on his behalf right at the moment, he crossed his arms and sulked his way down the corridor until he reached a corner and turned it. Completely concentrated on cursing the three friends that enjoyed making fun of him, Arthur completely missed the thumping footsteps that were drumming through the corridors, heading in his direction. He completely failed to hear the heavy and slightly stressed breathing as well.

Grumbling sourly to himself he was about to turn another corner when someone dashed around the corner and halted right in front of him, nearly knocking into him and sending them both to the ground. Jumping in surprice and looking up Arthur stared into the blue, wide orbs of Alfred.

Alfred looked tumbled, his hair stickig out in odd angles and his cheeks rosy from a mad dash. His breath was heavy and his eyes were panicked and desperate and he looked all in all as if he had stood through a turnado just seconds ago. Arthur instantly wanted to pounce on the other male as worry tugged at his heart at the sight, but he stopped himself from doing anything.

Alfred hadn't spoken to him since the incident at his house four days ago. It pained Arthur with the lack of a happy-go-lucky American around him at all times, and what pained him even more was the fact that the reason Alfred was avoiding him was his own fault. Four days ago, something that should never happen happened. Alfred walked in on him and Francis and saw him be with someone other than Alfred himself. It should never have happened, and Alfred should never have seen such a thing.

Arthur wanted to believe that what he had with Alfred was special, that all their shared moments and wild nights just hadn't been a pact of their allience, but something more. And to him it was. It was a strong friendship, one that couldn't be broken by anything. He had believed that that was how it was, but he had been wrong. It had been broken. By him.

Arthur didn't know when Alfreds' feelings had developed into ones of pure love, but they had, and for that, Arthur felt really sorry for him. Alfred loved him, but Arthur didn't love Alfred. The American meant everything to him, yes, and he would do anything for Alfred, yes. He was happy when Alfred was happy and he felt at peace by the younger nations side. If he could, he would spend all his hours with the boy and if possible, the rest of eternity. He had feelings for Alfred, strong ones at that, which would be there no matter what, but they weren't feelings of love.

Yes, Arthur could say he loved Alfred, but not like that. Not like Alfred loved him. And when the younger nation had in utter rage and betrayal shouted in his face that he loved him, Arthurs' heart had broken. He had pitied Alfred because he knew that the unreturned feelings would hurt him more than anything had ever hurt him before, and in a place that couldn't heal. He had felt guilty, because he hadn't been able to return the younger mans' feelings and make him happy and instead hurt him. But most of all, he had felt discusted with himself because he could bring himself to break the pure boys heart without a second thought. He didn't deserve Alfreds' love and he just didn't understand what Alfred could possibly see in him. He was dirty, discusting and selfish. He took from others, he stole things for his own benefit, he was greedy and he used his body to get things he wanted.

No, he couldn't understand what the other had fallen for. What he could understand, though, was that he had broken Alfreds' heart and hurt him, badly. The lack of the American by his side for the past four days had been profe of that and Arthur felt so bad.

So now that Alfred stood there in front of him, Arthur didn't know what to do. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but no words escaped his lips.

To his surprise, when Alfreds' wide eyes settled on him and took in who it was, the American tackled him to the floor.

Arthur yelped as they tumbled onto the floor and when he felt the strong arms that had wrapped around him, he was stunned into silence as Alfred held him close to his body. Hearing the boys' terrified and heavy breathing beside his ear and feeling the large body tremble aginst his, Arthur felt the urge to soothe him and hesitantly wrapped his arms around the American, embracing him gently and stroking his back with his hand. He let one of his hands play with Alfreds' hair and he quietly wondered what had happened that made the American suddenly take contact with him again after four days. Not that he wasn't glad he had. Arthur couldn't helpt but feel his heart swell with glee now that he held Alfred in his arms again, because believe him or not, he had missed him greatly. Just smelling the American and feeling his warmth against his body made Arthurs' heart jump and beat faster inside his chest.

Hating himself for being so selfish and glad that something had happened to Alfred that had made him want to touch Arthur again, Arthur decided to push it aside for worrying about the other nation at the moment. Waiting a while to see if Alfred would say something, Arthur was content with stroking his allys' hair. When it became clear that Alfred wasn't going to say anything, Arthur decided he would. He hesitated a little, and then he opened his mouth and murmured gently into the other nations ear,

"Alfre-…?" He wasn't able to finish his sentece becaue suddenly Alfred grabbed him by the shoulders and held him at arms length. "Bloody-!" Arthur almost cursed, but looking up and meeting Alfreds' blue eyes, every curse died in his troath.

Now that they were close, Arthur could clearly see there were traces of tears down Alfreds' cheeks and his eyes were red and puffy. His eyes, though, was what made Arthurs' heart skip a beat. The sky blue orbs looked so lost and sad, as if Alfred was terrified and searching for something, and besides the desperate look in the blue orbs there was something Arthur recognised as regret. Confusion took hold of Arthur. Why was Alfred feeling regret?

And then Alfred was over him, pinning him to the floor and kissing him as if his life depended on it. Arthur could actually _feel_ the desperate longing from Alfreds' side in the kiss, the pain of being broken, alone, he could _feel_ how much Alfred had missed him, thought of him and he knew Alfred just wanted to be with him. The feeling of Alfreds' lips against his own sparked something inside Arthur and it felt as if a hundred of butterflies went loose in his stomach and relief washed over him. Alfred wasn't angry with him. Alfred didn't hate him. Arthur was so happy he just wanted to cry.

He reached out to grab Alfred and pull him closer, but when he did Alfred pulled away with a broken expression over his face. Arthur looked confused at him, his stomach sinking inside his body.

"I'm sorry-!" Alfred cried hoarsly, his eyes watering with new tears as he stared down at Arthur with so much regret written over his face. Arthur was paralyzed under him, his mind utterly blank. "I'm sorry!" Alfred repeated, the tears flowing down his cheeks. Arthur could do nothing, for he had no idea why Alfred was apolegising. Leaning down, Alfred placed a gentle kiss to his lips.

"I'm sorry." He murmured and placed another kiss to Arthurs' lips. "I'm sorry." He kept mumbling the same phrase over and over as he washed Arthur with gentle and caring kisses. A bad feeling started to spread in Arthur chest as he got a feeling that something was extremely off about the whole situation. When Alfred leaned down for the fifth time to kiss him, Arthur stopped him with a hand to his chest, pushing at him so that he could sit up with the lad still in his lap.

Looking at Alfreds' devestated expression, Arthur furrowed his brows and eyes the American warily.

"Alfred…" He mumbled, wiping some of the tears away from the taller males face. "Why are you apolegising…?" He whispered, bumping his forehead with the younger nation. Noticing Alfred flinch and start shakig again at his question, Arthur narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Alfred…" He said, tone now strict and warningly. "_What did you do?_"

* * *

Alfreds' heart was bursting inside his chest as Arthur glowered at him. The guilt was eating away on him from the inside and he was terrified to tell Arthur of his mess up. He was scared Arthur would neglect him, hate him for his mistake and although he was only in an onesided romance he didn't want Arthur to leave him. What if Arthur wouldn't want to be with him anymore after this? His heart hurt and sank at the thought and Alfred stressed out even more.

One part of him was happy, because Arthur hadn't pushed him away when he had come running around the corner. When he had laid eyes on the male, Alfred had just wanted to hold him close, cling to him for his dear life and never let go. He wanted to be close to Arthur, he wanted to hold him in his arms and he wanted to kiss him and be with him.

The urge got to strong for Alfred to resist and he leaned in to kiss Arthur again, but to his hearts utter fear and disapointment, Arthur pushed him away.

Fear took hold of him and his blood went cold. Arthur pushed him away. Arthur had never pushed him away before, and it hurt. He had broken Alfreds' heart, yes, but he had never pushed him away. Frustrated tears flowed down Alfreds' cheeks and he just wanted everything to go back as it had been. Before four days ago, when he had been naïve, in love and unaware of Arthur not being faithfull. Before he got so confused and lost he let Ivan use him. Before everything crumbled in his life.

"Answer me, Alfred," Arthur said warily, Alfred flinching at the tone in his voice. "What did you do? Why are you crying and apolegising to me? What happened?" Alfred met Arthurs' green eyes and he choked on a sob.

"I-…! Arthur, I-…!" He wiped the tears from his face, growing angry with his own patheticness. "I was used, Arthur, b-by I-Ivan, a-and I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He stuttered out, looking down on the floor as he couldn't take finding out Arthurs' reaction. Utter, complete silence met him and Alfred could hear nothing but his heart beating loudly inside his chest. None said a word.

"…Used?" Arthur finally asked, breaking the silence. Alfred was surprised by the lack of rage in Arthurs' voice and glanced up at his lover, seeing Arthurs' troubled and lost expression. They stared into each others' eyes and something happened right then and there. Something connected, something was shared between them and suddenly the air around them seemed holy and light and it was as if sparks flew through the air. Without breaking the eyecontact, Alfred leaned in, slowly, slowly, until his nose bumped with Arthurs' and they both stared with halflidded eyes at each other, the silence between them remained thick, but far from awkward. Their breaths mingled with each other and washed over each others' lips as they just sat there and _felt_. Felt how close they were to each other. Hesitantly leaning in further, their noses brushing against each other and Alfred watched as Arthur slowly tilted his head to the side and closed his eyes, their lips barely ghostling over each other as no dared to move in lack of knowledge what was happening between them. The breathed onto each other, warm gentle huffs of air being shared between them. Alfred studied Arthurs' peaceful expression, his eyes closed and his head tilted, as if he was waiting for Alfred to kiss him. Feeling his eyelids drop, Alfred shifted and he could feel the slight hitch in Arthurs' breath against his cheek as he leaned in.

…And let his head fall onto Arthurs' shoulder, where he let it rest. He had stopped crying, the tears drying on his cheeks as he just lay there, in Arthurs' arms. He felt so calm. His heart was beating slowly and his mind was at ease, untroubled by any more problems. They had all drifted into thin air as soon as he had touched Arthur. He felt safe and a warm feeling was spreading inside his chest. He wanted to stay with Arthur forever. That's what his heart wanted and his body agreed fully with its' decision. Forever with Arthur, the person he loved. He loved Arthur, and he always would.

He could feel Arthur shift and for a millisecond he was worried he might push him off again, but as soon as the two arms settled around his back he relaxed. The warm feeling inside his chest swelled as Arthur embraced him and held him close. Arthurs' slender fingers softly journeyed through his hair and Alfred sighed contently as he wrapped his arms around Arthurs' waist and held him tightly into his own body.

After the moment passed, they slowly pulled back from each other so that they could look each other in the eye. Alfred kept his arms around Arthurs' waist and avoided looking into the beautiful green eyes he had often found himself getting lost in. Arthur studied his face with a concerned expression, gently stroking his cheek with his hand. He then planted a soft, gentle kiss onto Alfreds' forehead and Alfred melted under the gentle show of affection.

"Alfred…" Arthur murmured his name. Alfred loved when Arthur mumbled his name, when he whispered it and let the wind carry the ghostly whisper to his ears where they would dance and caress his eardrums like a swett melody or old tune from far back in the days when everything was just peacefull, before war and before heartbrakes.

"How did Ivan use you?" Arthur asked, nuzzling caringly into Alfreds' shoulder. Alfreds' heart stung harshly and he worried his underlip as he avoided looking at Arthur or answering his question. Eventually he was defeated and he met Arthurs' gaze with one full of regret and shame. Arthur took this completely wrong and his gaze changed into a stricter one as he put a hand on the Americans shoulder, squeezing it lightly. They stared into each others' eyes for a long time and Alfred could feel the atmosphere weighening down over them, pressing at their shoulders.

"Did he rape you?" Arthur asked with so much seriousness Alfred almost nodded and said he did, but he stopped himself, his heart beating loudly inside his chets. _He didn't_. Ivan didn't rape him. He used him when he was in a weak state, sure, but he didn't rape him. If Alfred admitted it to himself, he rather had enjoyed it as well. Looking down he furrowed his eyebrows in thought. Ivan didn't rape him. So the answer to Arthurs' question would be… Looking up, Alfred stared with a determined look in his blue eyes into Arthurs' green ones, his lips forming a strict line.

"No." Seeing Arthur tryin to puzzle together the math inside his head, Alfred offered an explenation, "He didn't… _rape…_ me." He said with emphasis behind his words and by the way Arthurs' expression softened and then froze, Alfred knew he had gotten the message. Fidgeting as Arthur simply sat there and stared at him, Afred started chewing on his lip again, terrified of how Arthur would react next. Arthurs' green eyes softened and started to shine with a sort of light that Alfred couldn't place.

A hand was placed on his cheek and held his head in place as Arthur leaned in and kissed him, softly and sweetly. Blinking surprised first, Alfred quickly caught on and returned the kiss, pulling Arthur closer to his body, depening the kiss and letting go of his fear so that he could express just how much he had missed Arthur through the kiss. Pushing the smaller male down onto the floor, Alfred pinned him there, kissing him passionately, his longing for the other male no longer being able to stay contained inside of his cells. Arthur wrapped his hands into Alfreds' hair and responded to the kiss sweetly, just like Alfred loved it. Alfred couldn't believe how much he had missed this. Arthur, kissing him, holding him, being with him, dominating him… He had missed it all so much, and to think it had only been four days with them not touching.

His heart was beating fast and a warm feeling had spread from his heart and through his body, making his blood boil in a good way all the way out into his fingertips. Being with Arthur just made him feel good, happy. He knew where he belonged. With Arthur.

Breaking away from the kiss, Alfreds' emotionally shining eyes stared down into Arthurs' soft and warm ones, guilt still nagging at his counciousness. He opened his mouth to tell Arthur how much he loved him, but stopped himself. Arthur didn't feel the same. If Alfred said anything, he would ruin it and he would have to watch as Arthurs' exprassion changed from content to troubled and he would have to watch the eyes wash over with pity. So he remained quiet. Instead, he said,

"_I love you."_

"I'm sorry." Arthur stroked his bangs out of his face, looking at him with that warm look in his eyes, studying his features and feeling the remorse inside Alfreds' soul.

"It's okay, Alfred…" He mumbled, a small smile climbing onto his face as he let his hand roam through Alfreds' hair, soothing the younger boy. "It's okay." The words only made Alfred feel even worse, though, and he swallowed thickly as he bent down and placed an apolegetic kiss on Arthurs' lips.

"I regret it, you know…" He mumbled into Arthurs' lips, and he could feel how Arthurs' smile widened as he rubbed their noses together.

"_Because I only want to do that sort of thing with you…"_

That sentence was left unsaid as Alfred figured Arthur somehow already knew that, and instead he just kissed Arthur again, gently and passionately, savouring everything he felt at the moment inside his heart where he was going to keep it, keep this happiness only Arthur could bring him. He wanted to store it away and save it forever, so that he during dark days just could pick up the box of happiness and smile at its' contents. His heart really belonged with Arthur, and he would never, ever, ever betray him. He would never be able to, not again, because he just loved him that much. He wanted to tell Arthur how much he loved him, but he didn't. He wouldn't. Instead he kissed him and prayed for him to not be upset with him for his mistake.

"_I love you."_

"I'm sorry…" He mumbled again against the others' lips. Arthur caressed his cheek.

"I know… And I already forgave you." He said and smiled.

* * *

_The End._

**Omg, I _KNOW!_ Happy ending? ****WHUT? WHAT IS SHE UP TO THIS MAD AUTHOR?**

_- ah... yeah... remember I told you I just loooved writing sad endings? Well, I still stand for that, but youknow... Exchanging some stuff sometimes is actually pretty nice._

**So yah, there ya go!**  
That was my continuation of "I'm Sorry", "Forgive me (I regret it)" and I truly hope you enjoyed it! Isn't the ending juts really sweet...? *dreamy look* It really do leave you wondering if Arthur is answering what Alfred says out loud or what he wants to say out loud, hmm? *wriggle eyebrows* If you've read the first part of this, you'd get what I mean.

...Ah? What do you mean I didn't mention there was smutt between Alfred and Ivan? I SO DID! I *HINT HINT*ED AND *WINK WINK*ED YOOOUUUUUU! And no. I will not translate the Russian. I REFUSE! _(THE CAPS LOCK KEY IS NEAT. I SHALL USE IT MORE!) _

Anyway, as I mentioned above, this was not meant to be! (I really write a lot of things that aren't meant to come into excistense, don't I...? You shall meet my computer one day... My documents... I'm drowning, help...) Yeah, okay, 'nough drama is enough. Erh, as you see, Alfred wont grow out of love with Arthur, because his love is JUST DAT' STRONG. YEH. Mmm, okay, so yeah, there you have it. I don't really expect this idea to develop further now, and I'll just leave it up to your imagination how their struggle for a functioning relationship will continue, _if_ it even will continue! You decide! Personally I think it will work out between the two, and Alfred will swoon Arthur to fall for him without really meaning to and then they have fiftyseven children and live hapilly ever after. I DON'T EVEN- *sigh* You realise I'm screwing with you right? _Well, at least about the kid part,_ but you know! You decide what you think will happen to them and how things will work out.

AND NO. I so didn't write RUSUS smutt and then made Alfred feel disgusted by it! What is up with that logic, huh? HUH?

_Hello, my name is My and I haven't slept at all this night. Is it obvious?_

Random, yeah, I know. Bur seriously guys, I said I didn't support the pairing, and really? I just wrote this for the smutt! (or at least... that was all I had figured I wanted in the fic when I started to write it... Am I a bad person?) Woooow... I just realised this must be swiming with errors and stuff, BUT PEOPLE! DO NOT FLAG! FOR ONE DAY, I SHALL RETURN TO THE SACRED GROUND OF THIS FANFIC, AND I SHALL RISE WITH NEW STRENGHT AND CORRECT MY GRAMMATIC MISTAKES! FEAR NOT! WANKERS GON' WANK'! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah, okay... I play this game, called, like, something along "the elder scrolls IV, Oblivion." It is fun. I hate loosing. My character is blonde, has green eyes and is named Arthur. He's epic. _Epic_.

Oh, also! Completely off topic! The new Pokémon is out! Black and White! One day, when I have money that I don't want to spend on clothes, I will buy it! A new adventure begins!

Also, duuuuudes! You should totally see the bags under my eyes right now, not cool! And I have dance today at four! Crappety crap! Drackitude, that's what I'm gonna look like!

GLEE. Is. !.

enough said. (like seriously, long AN much? Gee, excuse me for having an opinion on stuff in this world...)

AND NOW THAT WE'RE ON THE TOPIC OF THE _WOOORLD_ - fine! I'll leave you alone! Just pray for Japan, aight? I am up aaaaaaaaaaaand... OUT!

**Thank for reading and please do not forget to review!**  
_- it inspires me as a writer!_

_**I highly reccomend you read the first part of this! **_Go to my account and tap the "I'm sorry" fanfic and you should be ready to go!

**_Owari..._**

_(Hehe, and no, this is NOT my first smutt. But I believe it's the first one I've posted, enjoy you peddos~)_


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